It Rained Yesterday

Despite a nagging denial of my heart to the excited clouds, despite a continuous wrench of my tear filled eyes, despite an isolation of my soul from the cruel world, despite everything against, it rained yesterday. Yes, I too thought it was a mere coincidence, your leaving and the silent weeping of the sky. For once, my mind did agree but this fist sized element placed so furtively inside a human is what that takes the most to convince. One doesn’t aptly know how much it demands of a life to face the nasty atrocities until it falls upon him. I wonder how I smiled at the first drop then and I also remember the way they believed in my smile. They sure lived up to their own saying of smiles being deceptive. And know if it helps, I did pick up my cell phone just as impulsively as one laughs on being tickled, I was nearly there, dialing some number subconsciously but then a thought almost like a pinch back to reality stuck me and I smiled again, and negotiating with all the upper bounds of juvenility, they did believe it again and this time anticipating a nod in response to their blissful statement, ‘They are so breathtaking. One simply can’t help but be lost in their paranormal essence. I fail to comprehend as to why the first of all things have an edge over the rest of the kind. Now talk of them only, the first rains. They are magical.’

‘The first rain, the first cry, the first smile, the first word, the first step, the first possession and the first love. Sure, they are unforgettable.’ This was just an obvious underlying thought meant to be kept as one like the countless many. I wondered again, that if the first of a kind is unforgettable, why not be them? Who under this sky must have ever cried thinking about his first broken up sentence or the first smile he ever shared when being cuddled by his mom? The happening of an episode never really upsets; it’s the discontinuity which does. Or rather, more than the discontinuity it’s the absence of the perfect closure that doesn’t let you be at peace. Never mind, maybe I didn’t deserve one. Each day anything happens and the first joy that enchants me is the thought of sharing it with you. You will never know how much elated I feel when I imagine you caring enough to pay attention to my words and then to be reminded of the fact that I have actually once lived what now seems as a far-off reality just rips me off.  Ever felt sand slipping off your hand? The harder you clutch, the faster it runs down. The degree of helplessness which then creeps into a person’s heart is what I’ve lived with all these years. Remember the primary school lessons on the rain cycle? They said that when the clouds get saturated with the vapors of water and are virtually in no position of taking any more, they eventually need to burst out. Not everyone finds the right path for their pain out. This is nature’s way of expressing its sorrows. Have we ever, before getting drenched, thought that it too could be someone’s pain that we are basking in so gladly without the slightest hint? It’s strange how someone’s pain can turn out to be someone else’s pleasure. And even strange is the fact how oddly similar is human life to nature, otherwise one never would have been able to connect himself so vividly with it. What cannot be associated to, cannot be felt and what cannot be felt cannot be articulated. They saw my steps in the rain yesterday, I saw ours. I felt so close to you, so close that I almost clasped the rain drops falling onto me. I was unintentionally reminded of how you used to pull me near and hug me tight that even your heartbeats used to be evidently audible. No sound in this world can ever be more pleasing to my ears as that, the thumping of your heart when the reason is my presence. You know I really would have been contended with my present, had you never made me believe that it could be better, that I could smile more meaningfully and that the rains could convey a meaning greater to me than just someone’s soreness.

It tickled me right in the center and I yelled a no unabatedly. It was almost reluctant. It wanted to pour. I couldn’t have been stronger. I lied there sighing emptily. And it continued to trace memories within me. It was dark outside, when it thundered inside. And you are all I remember missing despite everything else being present there, when against all odds, it rained yesterday.